tales from the grave

dan finally ripped the two best scenes from one of my favorite movies:

crazy gunderman


mandrake & wolfsbane


tales from the grave was directed by stephanie beaton, who is also responsible for the modern classic evil on the bayou.

friendster

remember these things from my friendster?:

2 WAYS TO DRIVE YOUR HUBBY WYLD:
1. NAGGING
2. CALL WYLD PHIL AND HAVE HIM DRAW STEVIE NICKS PICTURES OF YOUR HUBBY RIDING A SUB SANDWICH

ATTENTION COLLEGE STUDENTS
there's a new college in town and it's called OSU. OSU stands for the ohio state university. they offer a variety of majors from math to math 2 and even bachelors degree.


email excerpts:

"i know when people are lying to me and i know that you're not drinking that margarita on the rocks." -Yours "Truly"

"we went out to dinner at the cheesecake factory and just got back and i am thru for the night, im sorry to snake you yet again, but i swear its not intentional" -Chris

"wed night we should jam or get sauced at some establishment and look at ladies and discuss our mutual failures with them and how we will never have girlfriends or sex again and then stab each other in the eyes" -Chris

"it was sweet seeing gothika with u last night." -Jim

"I heard your name was Anthony Vines. You owe me 9 thousand dollars, motherfucker." -other Sam

"if you add anthony alden, that should work. his e-mail address is buzzcolumbuz@hotmail.com" -Me again

"i saw you walking down high street on saturday night. it was right before my girlfriend and i broke up. you walked right past us near mcdonalds." -Me again

"im pandu from jogjakarta i want to know all about the stokes news,etc pleaze help me..." -Pande Pandu



also i received unsolicited flirtatious messages from the following girls:

one 99.7 the blitz "hummer girl"
one girl that later joined the band saturday looks good to me

NEW NJ VIDEOS: the theme of scrube

hey maybe you guys probably remember when we recorded the theme scrub "no super man" from the hit show starring Zach Bratz well now there is a vids for it:

Nute Jugels J.R. "theme of scubs"


a few notes:
1. i did not make this but i am in it i am the black cat and the dog
2. gabe had a root canal right before filming this video, so part of his face is paralyzed, making this video the greatest inspirational landmark event of dedication to the dream since kanye west's "through the wire"
3. this song is better than kanye west "through the wire"
4. NO OFFENSE KANYE U STILL MY BRO CALL ME

and hey if you live in a cave you might have missed this classic hit music video that has been hailed as the "theme to summer this year" we just call it "song to slimer." WE GET IT, U LOVE IT. GIVE IT UP FOR:

PHD in NJ "sum 41 song"


encore

violent movie

we had a party at my house the other night where some of my friends made a violent movie that i unintentionally provided the score for. shot and directed by paul rentler and starring t. julian lee and sven kahns:



congratulations guys

jokes books

hey telling jokes is in my blood just ask my dad he has the best ones about motorcycles and stuff it's true! but hey, reading jokes is in my butt too! remember all those classic joke book titles that made you roll around on the floor laughing as a child??? i just remembered them and split my pants when i remembered how funny they just are! i thought that i would compile all the best ones for you to laugh and laugh and hey there are some contemporary ones too who knew?????????? i start with some that other people wrote not me and then there are the ones i write can you guess where to draw the line?

Under the Bleachers by Seymour Butts

The Yellow River by I.P. Freely

Spots on the Wall by Hu Flung Pu

Sliding Into Second by Will E. Make-It

Pack A Lunch by Justin Case

Fly by Night Gift Distribution by S. Claus

How is This Even Gay? by Work N. Out & Lift N. Weights

Dog Shit by P.F. Dog Shit

Which Members of the OSU Football Team are Gay? by Olive Them

FUCKING PUNS! by God I Fucking Hate Puns

Halloween Handbook by Scare E. Creature

R&R: Rants & Raves! by Dennis Miller I Guess (is this funny??)

Norton Anthology of Short Fiction edited by Chuce Nares

Is the Army Gay or What? by Don T. Ask & Don T. Tell

Hey What's With All the Gay Jokes? by The Censors (THEY JUST DON'T GET IT!)

FUCKING FREE SPEECH HERO!!! by Howard Stern

Arrested Development: the Complete Series: The Book by The Same Boners That Wrote the Stinkpot Scripts for this Butt-show GIVE ME A BREAK!!!

101 Hamburger Jokes, Bro by Don Cuce

Sein Language by Jerry Seinfeld

I Really Like Bukowski by I Am From the Suburbs but Just Imagine if I Was Not

My Parents Didn't Pay Enough Attention to Me as a Child by Sam Craighead

hey just because you read it doesn't mean it's funny sorry guys

who is mike jones and the see-thru alienz

WARNING THIS CAR HAS SPOILERS

hey this movie was okay. i like the part with the snake he hates snakes. the beginning i was kind of a fan and then i was like "the russians are our enemies?" think twice what am i going to school for???? this movie needed more nazis: HELLO AL THE NAZIS WENT TO SOUTH AMERICA TO HIDE THIS IS A NO BRAINER! lets just say i am going to give this movie a good review. there was some awkward dialogue (am meistens zwischen "mike jones" und "marion"), aber war auch gut gesprochen (???? speling?). harryhausen ford looks to be somewhat old, but do i still love him yes. here is the point cate blanchett is totally beautiful and i am not just saying that because the silmarillion is one of my favorite books. there are only two famous people that are hot and the other one is named nicholas cage which brings me to the other point: if you saw national treasure 2 you win it is slightly more entertaining than indiana jones 4 no offense i like them both. but seriously if you didn't see national treasure 2 you lose because that movie is the bomb

Fathers and Sons

Adapted from the classic Turgenev novel and starring some of Columbus' finest actors, this film is:

funniest guys in america

hey i am part of a new elite group of comedians around the usa and so is my friend dan. here are some of our colleagues and my first video:







more to come soon